Puisi Mengiringi Mak Yang Pergi

Mac 1hb. 2018, jam 2.30 pagi
Perginya mak meninggalkan kami
Aku tahu mak akan pergi, seminggu atau sebulan atau setahun lagi barangkali
Tetapi bukan di pagi ketika hujan rintih-rintih yang kudengari
Kerana itu yang aku rasai, seperti begitu bisikan di hati ini

Namun kami hanya hambaMu ya Rabbi
Tidak mengetahui akan ajal sudah menanti
Tidak dicepat seminit mahupun dilambatkan sesaat lagi
Ya Rahman Ya Rahim, Ya Allah hanya Kau Yang Maha Mengetahui
Akan saat umatMu akan dibawa pergi

Di sisimu aku menatap wajah mu lagi dan lagi
Aku bangga dikatakan ‘you look so much like your mummy”

Saat itu aku terus mengajakmu menyeru Ilahi
Lailahaillallah, Lailahaillallah, “Ikut kami mak, jangan berhenti.”

Malam bertambah sepi
Yang belum ke mari
Aku usaha menghalang agar mereka tidak dibuai oleh mimpi
Abang, akak dan adik kembali semula di sisi
“Jangan kita jauh daripada mak lagi.”
Entah mengapa, tiba-tiba aku takut menghadapi saat mak pergi
Sendiri, sendiri

Mak, ingin aku memeluk mu lagi
Mohon ampun dan maaf sejuta kali
Berat sekali melepaskan mak pergi
Namun syukur sekali mak memilih aku untuk di sisi
Dan adik beradik untuk melepaskan mak pergi pada pagi…
Yang tidak akan kami lupai

Mak ketika kain kapan membaluti
Aku melihat wajahmu cantik sekali
Putih berseri
Senyum, meninggalkan kami

Mana mungkin aku lupa hari-hari
Mak merayu diberi sesuap nasi
Atau minuman pepsi
Atau apa saja yang mendapat membuat perut mak berisi

“Kalau sayang mak tolong jangan curi-curi.”
Pesan doktor lagi
“Tolong ikut nasihat kami
Sementara ini mak saudari
Belum boleh makan lagi.”

Mak suka bersarapan pagi
Dan menanti hidangan tengah hari
Kari, ayam tandoori, nasi beriaini..
Antara yang dimakannya hampir hari hari

Kejam sungguh, pada saat mak hampir pergi
Tidak dibenar walau secubit nasi
Aku tersentuh mak melambai-lambai
Si tukang saji, minta dia juga meletakkan hidangan di sisi

“Mak belum lagi
Doktor kata demi keselamatan, harus dihindari.”

Aku sedih mak pergi perut tidak berisi

Saat ini sudah seminggu berlalu pergi
Air mata ini belum boleh berhenti
Maafkan anakmu ini
Halalkan makan minumku, air susu yang kuhisapi

Kata mak aku paling lama menyusui
Biar sudah punya adik, biar tidak mahu diberi lagi
Aku menangis, menangis, setiap hari
Hanya mahu susu dari tubuhmu yang berisi

Mak dalam dunia yang keras ini
Menghadapi kesulitan yang datang silih berganti
Engkau mengajari dan terus menasihati
Solat jangan sesekali dilupai
Jangan lupa hidup ini tiada erti
Kalau Allah tidak diingati

Mak tidak dihadiahi harta yang menggunung tinggi
Tetapi mak bahagia, kerana dikasihi
Cuma kami kadang-kadang melupai
Yang mak mahu anak-anak sentiasa di sisi

Mak mohon maaf lagi
Terkala kami sibuk mengejar duniawi
Terkala mak mahu kami berada di sisi
Dari pagi dan malam juga telah pergi
Wajah kami belum muncul lagi
Cuma kicau burung yang sedia menemani

Mak, today i try to keep myself busy
With the thing I do to make me happy
I wake up and check my selfie
To see you and me,
Please forgive me, forgive me, forgive me…

Our life go on without you but nothing is the same
We have to hide our grief
When someone speaks your name
Sad are the hearts that love you
Silent are the tears that fall
Living without you is the hardest part of all
You did so many things for us

Mak, we love you all our days
For enriching our life in so many ways
Nothing can replace you

The special years will not return
When we are all together
But with the love in our heart
You walk with us forever

Bondaku semoga kita bertemu di Jannah

6 Comments
  1. It’s beautiful. Brings tears to my eyes.. May your Mak be in Allah’s Gardens of Paradise, Aamiin

  2. Beutiful touchy puisi. Each time I visited arwah she remembers almost everything about me n my children tru our friendship. But the feeling of strangenss enveloped my soul when I visited less than 3 months ago at Tipah’s house. She didnt recognised me. When you told her who I was..she looked at me with a sigh and said in her own excat words.. “ape ka burok nya kamu .. dulu lawa”. I laughed and replied “tu 35 tahun dulu mak!” However she continued murmuring something about Nelisa n Norman, I cannot make out. That was the last time I spoke to her … though I saw her twice after that…met arwah at Tisham’s reception spoke to her … no reply but she looked very happy n when we visited her at the hospital. Walaupun kita duduk bersama arwah almost 2 hours … she didnt utter a word to me inspite of me talking to her … and was my last salam when we have to leave arwah n afterwards i was very ill with influenza A .. Al fatihah…semoga Almarhummah dirahmati dan diberkati Allah. Aamiin aamiin aamiin.

  3. Wirda .. a beautiful touchy puisi. Strangeness enveloped my soul when we visited arwah at Tiph’s house excatly 3 months b4 her passing on the 1st of January. She didnt recognised me. When you told her who I was … she replied, “apakah buroknya kamu .. dulu lawa”. Wirda you were embrassed but I laughed it out and replied, ” laa tu 35 tahun dulu mak Chik” but arwah continued saying something about Nelisa, Norman and Aqmil and that arwah remembers … how Aqmil slept on stomach when we all went over to Lekir (24 years ago) n she remembers my grandson Eusoff too slept on my stomach in that same house about 5 years ago. I felt strange. After that funny incident I met arwah twice. Once i went to pay respect to her at Tisham’s wedding .. arwah didnt speak to me inspite off I spoke to her but however arwah was looking very happy n again I saw arwah when we visited her at Serdang hospital. Though we stayed for almost 2 hrs … she didnt say a word to me .. walaupun kita bersembang ramai2. Arwah simply looked deeply into my eyes once. I felt I must have look a lot more “buruk” than the last time or may arwah tidak mengenali saya. When we parted that was my last good bye, my last salam .. my last kiss on arwah’s cheeks n fore head. Al Fatihah…. Aamiin aamiin aamiin.

  4. Nice kak.Wir…so sad too. Moga roh arwah Inche’ akan diampuni dosa2nya dan di temparkan bersama2 para solehin.

  5. Salam Takziah Al fatihah.
    Untuk Kak wirda & Keluarga
    Semoga Allah MeLindungi jugs limpahlan rahmat Kepada kak sekeluarga.

    Salam Indah silaturahim,

    Nini Rudy
    Wanita pencuci wajah

  6. Al fatihah! Reminds me of how I talked and wrote to myself when my mom passed away. Take care Wirda